The Glory of Trees

In 2009, I attended an art class and one of the assignments was to go outside to draw a real-life tree. There was a tree on the golf course behind our home which was a favorite of mine. I would sit on the lanai and watch it stand tall during all kinds of weather conditions - from sunshine to lightning storms. In my mind's eye, that was the tree I immediately knew I was going to draw when I got home.

Drawing paper and pencil in hand, I went out to get a closer view of the tree in order to draw it.  My heart sunk when I couldn't find what I had come to call "my tree." Unbeknownst to me, It had been taken down and replaced with an ordinary palm tree.

This came at a time of personal loss for me, the death of my first husband. Loss comes in all kinds of shapes and the loss of that tree added more grief to my already hurting heart.

Crestfallen, but knowing I had to complete the art assignment, I searched for a photograph of the tree and proceeded to draw it from a photograph  and memory. When you look the piece I created, the tree in the middle is the drawing and the photograph is on either side of the tree. 

As so often happens after a piece of art is created, I felt compelled to write a poem. Thus, Strength and Glory - Elegy to a Tree was birthed.  

Upon presenting the poem and artwork to my art teacher;  she said this would influence and transform how she would assign a tree drawing to future students.  Whether that actually is the case is not the story.....The tree is the real story – I will always honor its life, its strength and its glory. Laurel D. Rund

Note: this poem and artwork is in my book Emerging Voices Living On: A Journey Through Loss to Renewal https://essenceoflaurel.com/emerging-voices and the artwork can be found on either my Etsy site  or Essence of Laurel site. Enjoy ...

Strength and Glory 

 Elegy to a Tree

Welcoming all to a vision of grandeur, 

you stood tall and proud with your trunk rooted firmly in the ground

and your limbs reaching towards the heavens.

I watched in awe as playful birds rested on your bare branches,

and marveled when your sparse limbs were 

 illuminated by gleaming sunbeams.

You withstood the force of fierce winds ~ unrestrained rainstorms,

and seemed to revel as lightning danced raggedly around you.

During your life, your spirit was one of

beauty, dignity, grace and, above all, courage.

Suddenly, one day, you disappeared!

 Thoughtlessly cut down to fulfill 

man’s need for youthful perfection,

a rather unremarkable seedling replaced you.

Perhaps it was time for your journey to

come to an end and for a new life to begin?

Nonetheless, your loss was jarring.

Oh grand tree~ know that

 the image of your magnificentstrength and glory

 will always have a home within my soul!

Laurel D. Rund

The Mask

Awakening from the fog of dreams not fully remembered,

I wonder what the day will bring.

Which mask will serve as my guide?
The one that focuses on the dark soul of the night
Or the one that is stirred by a sunrise filled with promise?

Which mask will I wear today?

Will it be the one that wraps me in darkness and despair,

From which I am whiplashed into a heavy heart 

And a dim view of life?

Or will it be the one from which I find a

Semblance of inner peace and grace,

Illuminating my soul?

Which mask will I embrace today?

Will it be the one that sees darkness 

as simply the absence of light?

And then I remember…

When I honor the shadows and the light,

And greet this new day without a mask,

I will celebrate its arrival 

through the eyes of hope and love!

Laurel D. Rund

5/22/2019

Coming Full Circle - a letter from a daughter to her mother

When I picked you from afar, I knew that you would gift me with life. With intention and purpose, I floated into your womb... absorbing your molecules and making them mine. 

While tethered to you, I was cared for and fearless as you willingly provided nourishment, safety and unconditional love. I was enveloped by the sounds in the depths of your belly, and your heartbeat and mine beat together in a life-forming synchronistic rhythm. 

Within the safety of your womb, I grew from a seedling into a tiny being ... swimming, kicking and moved about unabashedly. 

The nine months I had with you had prepared me to meet the challenges of life, and the time of gestation was quickly coming to an end.

I tried to hold on, to resist this part of my journey, because I had a knowing that our time together on earth, outside your womb, would be cut short.  

Nonetheless, you pushed me forward. Your body urged me to move into the world, like an ocean wave crashing towards the shore.   As I gulped in my first breathe of air and cried out, you breathed a sigh of relief, knowing with certainty that I would survive.

And, then, you imprinted me with a sign of your love when you bestowed upon me the unique and beautiful name to which I answer.  I am and always will be your Laurel Diane.

Not until the afternoon of my life have I finally come to understand the importance of the time we spent together in those first nine months.   Although we had only one precious year left to be together, your loving imprint became permanently affixed to my heart.  

You, my loving mother, have always helped me come full circle ... even as my guardian angel. 

Laurel Diane Rund

Mother’s Day – the Vortex

“When a daughter loses a mother, the intervals between grief responses lengthen over time, but her longing never disappears. It always hovers at the edge of her awareness, prepared to surface at any time, in any place, in the least expected ways.” ― Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

Mother’s Day is a day to honor and be honored.  It is also a day which I have struggled with my whole life; having lost my mother when I was 13 months of age.  Some holidays, which are celebrated by most with joy and happiness, are triggers of sadness for others.  Perhaps what I wrote to my mother will touch someone else’s heart who struggles with the day as I do.

“A mother’s death also means the loss of the consistent, supportive family system that once supplied her with a secure home base, she then has to develop her self-confidence and self-esteem through alternate means. Without a mother or mother-figure to guide her, a daughter also has to piece together a female self-image of her own.” ― Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

   

Golden Nuggets

Sometimes the Universe sends me reminders that I should pay attention to. Such as to be grateful for the moments and people who have impacted my life.

While doing a search on my computer for a poem I had written, a piece "Golden Nuggets,"  which I wrote in 2010 popped up. (There are no accidents!)  To be honest, my mood was dark and it needed to be nudged, no pushed,  to one of gratitude.   The words were just what I needed to lift up my chin ... to listen to my soul and let in the light.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding you right now,  there are always golden nuggets to lift your spirits.   Namaste,  Laurel

Golden Nuggets

On February 4^thof 2009 my husband Marty and I made the decision to bring in hospice.   After a year-long illness, we acknowledged that the battle was over …it was time to let Marty transition with ease and grace.   

I had been a caretaker for a year, living in fear and terror … a lonely and sad time in our 44 years together.  A lightning storm struck and left us with nowhere to hide.  We were exhausted, saddened and crushed.  Actually, Marty seemed relieved, because in truth he was fighting to stay alive for the kids and me.  He was ready to leave.   I was numb and didn’t know what to expect.

The point of this is that at the worst time in my life, a social worker from hospice came into our home, our lives.   She counseled and offered solace, but the most important thing she told me was that during this dark time, I should remain open and observe because I would see and encounter “golden nuggets” which would remain with me forever.   I don’t know why my befuddled head heard this advice, or why I was able to retain what she said, but I did.

Because of that advice, I was able to see and feel the kindness offered by those who surrounded us that final week.   Moments arrived of humans “being” the light that they are.  It was as if a switch went off in my head, my heart … and my vision cleared.   It was the beginning of my transition as well.   I was, at such a sorrowful time, opening up to allow life in.   

There have been many “golden nuggets” in my life this last year.   I am grateful for each and every one of them … big and small.  Because every nugget has helped pave the way for me to “be.”   Loss and grief are a part of life, which everyone will encounter, and experience.   But, remain open my friends… there are golden nuggets which are occurring every moment around you … embrace them, be in them, experience them.   These treasures are part of your life’s story.  

Laurel D. Rund / 2010

Trees Are My Reverence and Clarity is My Mantra!

“Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky” Kahlil Gibran 

Trees give me comfort and hope ... their strength and courage is symbolic of my life's journey. They spread their roots and connect to each other as family, and give shelter to strangers.  

Trees weather life's storms, take delight in the sunshine and the nourishment of rain.  Their growth comes from their roots, up through their trunks, into their limbs.  New leaves blossom. Flowers grow.  And trees continues to look to the heavens, reaching for the light.   What a metaphor for life!

𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘𐩘

As I move into another chapter in my life, my quintessential beliefs continue to nurture my heart and spirit. Time is moving quickly,  yet almost standing still waiting for my next adventure.   As new branches and leaves blossom... so, too, does my creativity.  Words and art are embedded in me, waiting to be nurtured in order to emerge.

I listened to my soul at a white stone ceremony* on New Year's Day, and the word "clarity" showed up as my 2019 mantra. 

A white stone ceremony can be a pathway. When you listen to spirit and ask for a word it will be revealed. As you begin to listen to your inner spirit this will guide you to your highest good.

What does "clarity" mean to me?  It reminds me to take time to breathe in life, to learn new things;  spend time with family and friends, and to be of service to others.   It also means finding clarity of purpose and a vision for the future.

So with clarity in mind, I made a big decision this month to leave the art show circuit and find other ways to exhibit and sell my art.  The Universe let me know that I had made the right choice by immediately finding a wonderful buyer for my booth.  

Release and let go is what I did when the  Essence of Laurel booth went to a new home after my very last show.   Amazing timing I must say!👍

I know that the photographer who bought the booth will make it his own and enjoy the adventures he will have at shows, as I most certainly did.  I call these encounters "tales from the booth."  Hmmm ... now that's something to write about! 

For quite some time, my writing has been tightly contained - stubbornly blocked.  Words are in me somewhere - and will blossom naturally, with all the elements coaxing them out.   The light, the dark, the music, the quiet, the storms, the sunsets, the possibilities given me each new day.  

No regrets.  "Yes" to new adventures and what's to come. At 73, time is a most precious gift and should be used to its fullest.  Stay tuned.  Laurel 💫💜

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