The Glory of Trees

In 2009, I attended an art class and one of the assignments was to go outside to draw a real-life tree. There was a tree on the golf course behind our home which was a favorite of mine. I would sit on the lanai and watch it stand tall during all kinds of weather conditions - from sunshine to lightning storms. In my mind's eye, that was the tree I immediately knew I was going to draw when I got home.

Drawing paper and pencil in hand, I went out to get a closer view of the tree in order to draw it.  My heart sunk when I couldn't find what I had come to call "my tree." Unbeknownst to me, It had been taken down and replaced with an ordinary palm tree.

This came at a time of personal loss for me, the death of my first husband. Loss comes in all kinds of shapes and the loss of that tree added more grief to my already hurting heart.

Crestfallen, but knowing I had to complete the art assignment, I searched for a photograph of the tree and proceeded to draw it from a photograph  and memory. When you look the piece I created, the tree in the middle is the drawing and the photograph is on either side of the tree. 

As so often happens after a piece of art is created, I felt compelled to write a poem. Thus, Strength and Glory - Elegy to a Tree was birthed.  

Upon presenting the poem and artwork to my art teacher;  she said this would influence and transform how she would assign a tree drawing to future students.  Whether that actually is the case is not the story.....The tree is the real story – I will always honor its life, its strength and its glory. Laurel D. Rund

Note: this poem and artwork is in my book Emerging Voices Living On: A Journey Through Loss to Renewal https://essenceoflaurel.com/emerging-voices and the artwork can be found on either my Etsy site  or Essence of Laurel site. Enjoy ...

Strength and Glory 

 Elegy to a Tree

Welcoming all to a vision of grandeur, 

you stood tall and proud with your trunk rooted firmly in the ground

and your limbs reaching towards the heavens.

I watched in awe as playful birds rested on your bare branches,

and marveled when your sparse limbs were 

 illuminated by gleaming sunbeams.

You withstood the force of fierce winds ~ unrestrained rainstorms,

and seemed to revel as lightning danced raggedly around you.

During your life, your spirit was one of

beauty, dignity, grace and, above all, courage.

Suddenly, one day, you disappeared!

 Thoughtlessly cut down to fulfill 

man’s need for youthful perfection,

a rather unremarkable seedling replaced you.

Perhaps it was time for your journey to

come to an end and for a new life to begin?

Nonetheless, your loss was jarring.

Oh grand tree~ know that

 the image of your magnificentstrength and glory

 will always have a home within my soul!

Laurel D. Rund

The Mask

Awakening from the fog of dreams not fully remembered,

I wonder what the day will bring.

Which mask will serve as my guide?
The one that focuses on the dark soul of the night
Or the one that is stirred by a sunrise filled with promise?

Which mask will I wear today?

Will it be the one that wraps me in darkness and despair,

From which I am whiplashed into a heavy heart 

And a dim view of life?

Or will it be the one from which I find a

Semblance of inner peace and grace,

Illuminating my soul?

Which mask will I embrace today?

Will it be the one that sees darkness 

as simply the absence of light?

And then I remember…

When I honor the shadows and the light,

And greet this new day without a mask,

I will celebrate its arrival 

through the eyes of hope and love!

Laurel D. Rund

5/22/2019

Coming Full Circle - a letter from a daughter to her mother

When I picked you from afar, I knew that you would gift me with life. With intention and purpose, I floated into your womb... absorbing your molecules and making them mine. 

While tethered to you, I was cared for and fearless as you willingly provided nourishment, safety and unconditional love. I was enveloped by the sounds in the depths of your belly, and your heartbeat and mine beat together in a life-forming synchronistic rhythm. 

Within the safety of your womb, I grew from a seedling into a tiny being ... swimming, kicking and moved about unabashedly. 

The nine months I had with you had prepared me to meet the challenges of life, and the time of gestation was quickly coming to an end.

I tried to hold on, to resist this part of my journey, because I had a knowing that our time together on earth, outside your womb, would be cut short.  

Nonetheless, you pushed me forward. Your body urged me to move into the world, like an ocean wave crashing towards the shore.   As I gulped in my first breathe of air and cried out, you breathed a sigh of relief, knowing with certainty that I would survive.

And, then, you imprinted me with a sign of your love when you bestowed upon me the unique and beautiful name to which I answer.  I am and always will be your Laurel Diane.

Not until the afternoon of my life have I finally come to understand the importance of the time we spent together in those first nine months.   Although we had only one precious year left to be together, your loving imprint became permanently affixed to my heart.  

You, my loving mother, have always helped me come full circle ... even as my guardian angel. 

Laurel Diane Rund

Mother’s Day – the Vortex

“When a daughter loses a mother, the intervals between grief responses lengthen over time, but her longing never disappears. It always hovers at the edge of her awareness, prepared to surface at any time, in any place, in the least expected ways.” ― Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

Mother’s Day is a day to honor and be honored.  It is also a day which I have struggled with my whole life; having lost my mother when I was 13 months of age.  Some holidays, which are celebrated by most with joy and happiness, are triggers of sadness for others.  Perhaps what I wrote to my mother will touch someone else’s heart who struggles with the day as I do.

“A mother’s death also means the loss of the consistent, supportive family system that once supplied her with a secure home base, she then has to develop her self-confidence and self-esteem through alternate means. Without a mother or mother-figure to guide her, a daughter also has to piece together a female self-image of her own.” ― Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss